Moms’ Sanity Savers

Typically, my day starts out with the alarm blaring, bright and early.  My husband sleeping soundly next to me, as if he is genetically unable to be woken by the sound of a screeching siren going off 3 feet from his head.  He is genetically wired to wake at the first scent of coffee brewing, however.   I pull my legs straight up like a toothpick from under the covers, because God forbid I disturb the slumber of our 70 lb Grate Dane Mix who has been sleeping on my knees most of the night.  My feet hit the ground and I ask myself, “I wonder if I can call in sick today?”  Then I laugh at my own personal inside joke, because as we all know, Mom’s can never call in sick.  No one ever answers the phone when we try.

I get out of bed and on a good day I shower, then get ready for what the day brings. My routine is to run downstairs before the rest of the house is awake, put on the coffee for my husband, make a cup of tea for myself, empty then reload the dishwasher with dishes from the night before.  I throw a load of laundry in, vacuum the living and play rooms.  I start preparing breakfast and thinking of what I will make for dinner tonight. Then I hear the sounds of the rest of the house waking, the toilets flushing, the music machine in my son’s crib sweetly playing lullabies, the shower starting (everyone else manages to shower EVERY day, a skill I am still trying to perfect).

It’s only 7:00 AM and I’ve done more this morning than some people do all day.  Or at least that’s how I feel most days.

In discussing with my husband one night the demands of being a stay at home mother, (Imagine the scene: 3:00 AM, me crying uncontrollably in our bedroom ranting about how I have no ME time and how everyone needs me to do things for them but I don’t ever get to do things just for me!!! Then in another fit of hysterics, I cry because I feel guilty for wanting time for myself, knowing there are people who would kill to be in the position of being married to a loving husband and having a beautiful 2-year-old son.  My poor husband listens motionless, because I might misconstrue any slight movement or sound as a personal attack on my feelings and me.) we agreed that I should have a night off during the week all for myself.  I can do what I want; my husband would man the fort for the night. Just ME time.   Brilliant idea!!!!  I’m so happy my husband thought of it.

The week went by at a crazy pace, as usual, and before I knew it my husband was home from work, saying; “Ok, You are officially off duty!!  Tonight is your first Night Off.  What are you going to do?”  I was so excited by the thought until I realized the week went by so fast that I had no idea what I was going to do with my night off.  I could catch up on the laundry that I didn’t get to finish this week or I could do the banking, or I could finally reorganize my son’s clothes from summer to winter.  But how is that ME time?

I realized that night that I haven’t even had enough time in my recent life to figure out what I am interested in…I don’t know who ME is, besides being a Mom, and a wife, and I daughter (which is a whole other rant I could go on, but will spare you today.).

I realized that I had this ME time, to find ME again. I needed to find what makes me sane.  I needed to find things that interested me, that helped me relieve the stress that builds up from the demands of everyday life.  I am still learning how to do this.  I have listed 3 items below that I currently use to help keep me sane and ultimately help make me a better mother, wife, and yes – even a better daughter.


My Three Personal Tools for Sanity:

1. Movie Night:  I highly encourage you to go and see a movie by yourself.  Pick the movie you have been wanting to see, whether it’s a chick flick that your husband wouldn’t be caught dead going to see, or a movie with one of your favorite actors in it.  Whatever the reason, just go.  The quiet ride to the theatre is priceless.  Picking the kind of drink you want and not having to share any of the drink or popcorn.  It might sound silly, but trust me, when you are there you will realize how long it’s been since you could make choices based solely on what you want.  No compromises, no self sacrifices.  
2. Girls Night Out:  Get together with your girlfriends that you haven’t seen in a while, or haven’t been able to really hang out and talk to in a while.  If you can swing it, make it a sleep over – at their house!!  This way you can really enjoy yourself and have a few drinks if you want, talk openly and freely about whatever you’d like, and for once you won’t be awaken by the sound of your alarm clock or even by the pleasant melodies of your child’s music box.  Because let’s face it, those pleasant melodies can sound like a heard of trumpeting elephants some mornings.
3. Brain Builders: I like to do something that allows me to use the part of the brain that doesn’t get used much on most days. I play Sudoku or I like to go to Barns & Nobel and order a large tea and just sit and read a book that I picked out.  Could be trashy book or a more complex, deep feeling book.  It doesn’t matter.  As long as there is no mention of a Hispanic handyman with talking tools or of grown men who hang out in a warehouse with a talking mouse and singing all day, then it qualifies as ME time.

As a Mom, what are 3 things you do to stay sane and keep your sense of Self?
I would love to hear your personal stories and please list 3 ideas of how you strive for sanity.  I think it would help a lot of women out there who are close to that 3AM mental breakdown.